Yet mysteriously, on his blog, I have only encountered hostility, rudeness and illogical hatred of the views I share. And this is usually in response to comments I make about loving one another, accepting difference and tolerating different views. His prefered criticism of me seems to be that I spread poison. When challenged on this, he says he will always fight for the truth.
So what happened to the kind, loving and nice person my friends describe?
I don't want this blog to be about a person, but rather about a strange occurence that can happen when people interact in different ways.
When Jesus gathered his followers about him, they began to learn more about each other. They spent time together and talked, listened and shared life experiences. From this position of relationship, Jesus built the most influential organisation the world has known - the Christian Church.
The people around him asked questions, even challenged Jesus and his ways. But from the love they shared, they grew together in faith. The people who exhibited the most hostility (and ultimately killed him, but thankfully that was not the end!) were the religious people of the day who didn't know him personally (with the notable exception of Judas). These people heard about him and his influence and occasionally dropped in the crowds to hear him speak and they hated the message he shared because it challenged their own positions. But crucially, they did not have deep relationship with him.
And there's the rub. Disagreements between friends can actually be very healthy and can lead to growth on both sides. Disagreements between strangers rarely do. When we encounter people we don't know personally, we see them less as individual people, and more as positions. This depersonalisation of the person behind the position gives us psychological permission to attack the position and view, and consequently the person.
What I noticed in my interactions with many more conservative Christians is that it puts them in such an uncomfortable position to hear me describe myself as an evangelical Christian who disagrees with certain views (e.g. homosexuality). Were we gathered as friends around a campfire eating fish caught that day or in the home of Mary and Martha, we might have had some very interesting conversations. Who knows, perhaps my views might have been modified after hearing different views. Yet this does not happen. Instead, I am forcibly relabelled as some kind of liberal, heretic or poisoner. At times I've even had my own relationship with Jesus questioned. After all, how can I be a Christian if I disagree with them?
To be fair, I've noticed this effect with others too (including liberals, atheists and agnostics). It causes more pain when it comes from fellow evangelicals, but the primary cause is the same.
Jesus once said "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples". I have heard attempts to get round this powerful teaching by people saying true love speaks truth. I have even heard the argument that if someone is walking off a cliff, the loving thing is to shout at him, rather than politely smile! Yet we know that Jesus was not meaning this. He was asking us to model the relationships he taught his disciples. A self sacrificing, loving relationship. Yes, there was space for disagreement and difference and sometimes some people were right and some were wrong, but never at the expense of that relationship between brother and sister.
What is interesting is that when conservatives view disagreement they like to compare themselves with the old testament prophets or they use the words of Paul about heretics. Yet we cannot truly understand these other human examples without the lens of Christ.
Jesus had his most critical words reserved for the religious establishment who were making a relationship with God rule-bound and difficult. James in the council of Jerusalem summarised it wonderfully - "It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God".
So, as Paul writes to the Church, let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
God bless you.
