What was Jesus thinking?

As Christians, we are called.  Called to follow Jesus, the Son of God.

What does this mean, "to follow?"

I read it as a call to imitate his way of life - his love, his compassion, his mercy, his inclusiveness, his deep relationship with God the Father, his sacrificial love.

To me, this means we are called into an intimate relationship with God.  Many of us don't really appreciate what an intimate relationship is all about.  It means getting to know and allowing to be known.  As a human, this means the honesty of allowing God to see the real me, warts and all.

It means turning to God for advice on all kinds of issues, small and large.  It means reflecting on events, it means praying for loved ones (and we're called to love everyone).

It's wonderfully simple isn't it?

Or would be, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a human being.  You see, as a human being, I do some daft things.  I burn korans.  I burn Bibles that are not the King James.  I picket funerals with anti-gay slogans.  I write hateful blog posts about other believers.  I preach from the pulpit about purity while returning home to my pornography addiction.  I proudly support some causes while using that as an excuse to walk away from those who need my love.  I always have my gun ready to shoot down any opposing views.  I abuse others over the centuries and claim it to be biblically justified.  I wrap up my anger and hate in the phrase "in Christian love".  I destroy my environment.  I try to denounce science.  I block safety measures that save thousands of lives.  I encourage suffering.  I... cannot believe what I am writing, and yet I see it everywhere in every form.

What was Jesus thinking in asking us to represent Him on this earth?

And yet as a human, I also show love.  I give of my time, talents and possessions to reach out to the needy in the world.  I open my home to the homeless.  I give a listening ear to the lonely.  I touch the leper.  I walk with the vulnerable through danger zones, knowing (praying) that they will not harm me, a white western woman.  I am the man who stands before the innocent to take their unjust pain.  I pause and listen and turn to see the child that no-one else sees.

And when I see this, I understand why Jesus calls us to follow Him.  We are called to fill our lives with Jesus, so that our lives will shine a light in dark places and show people there is hope.  And some of these dark places are within my own soul.

The temptation we as Christians face the most I believe is to retaliate against other Christians.  We do so in anger at what we believe to be a misrepresentation of our Lord.  Ironically, we are often attacked by others for the same.

And yet we wrestle with these words from Jesus:

"A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

There is no if, there is no but. It includes all our brothers and sisters. It isn't easy, but neither was going to the cross, and yet we follow Him.

What makes my skin crawl actually reminds me of grace

On the news recently was a piece about Pentecostal pastors in England telling members with HIV to stop taking medications and instead rely on God's healing.  And ill people became worse.

And it became a news item because it was scandalous news.  And as a Christian who believes in miracles and healing, I agree it is scandalous.   Not speaking about any case in particular, there is a real danger that when healing by faith doesn't appear to work, we tell people that they didn't have enough faith, or that there must be some kind of sin in their life holding back the power of God.

However, the truth is that we all have sin in our life, and nowhere in the Bible do we read of Jesus telling people to stop any kind of medical treatment.  It's not an either or... Either have faith or get medical treatment.  We should pray for wisdom and discernment and also listen to the advice of medical experts.  And we should pray for healing of mind and body.

But it's yet another example of a horrific impact on the witness of the Christian church.  Add this to the list of things such as sexual abuse in Christian schools or abuse by monks, nuns, priests, the apparent intolerance of homosexuality.

If I wasn't a Christian, I'd want nothing to do with the Church!

And yet, the stories we don't hear... The love, the mercy, the compassion, the feeding the poor, the giving comfort, the amazing, selfless acts of kindness and generosity.  The list of positives far outweighs but is sadly not as newsworthy.

But after my anger at the news item of the pastors telling people to stop treatments died down, I spoke to God.  I told him how frustrated I was and how angry I was at the poor witness of Christians throughout the world (myself included).  How were we to convince the world that being a Christian is worthwhile?!

And after listening patiently to my rant, I got a sense of a reply.  I got a gentle reminder that no-one is perfect.  In fact, no-one is actually good enough.  And this doesn't stop God loving us one little bit.  God isn't calling us to good behaviour.  He's calling us into relationship.

It was a reminder that Jesus is calling everyone into closer relationship with him, not just the "unsaved".  We need to love and show forgiveness to our brothers and sisters as well as the world.  And we need to show love and forgiveness to ourselves.

My anger helped remind me of Grace.  Thank you God.